Day 66

This week John is in town to treat patients at our clinic in Lehi. He loves his patients and seeing their progression. He always says, "This never seems like 'work'. I love doing what I am doing every single day." I bet everyone wishes they could say that. After clinic we were able to go to the unit and see Nicole and get updated on the day.

It seems like each day presents new challenges. Today, Nicole refused her wound care. She is in so much pain with the areas on her back and buttocks the thought of having that area taken down and wash was just too much for her. I asked to speak to Dr. Morris and a few minutes later he came in. I sure like him. He gave us quite an extensive update. We hadn't talked with him in weeks. He started off with the bad. (not everything is going to be in here) Wound care didn't happen, which we already knew. He said he had come in earlier and talked with Nicole about how important wound care was. He told us that if you don't get wound care each day that infection can take over in that short time and she may loose all the graft or worse she may not be able to fight the infections because they are too bad. I don't know if that was a scare tactic but my eyes were burning. He did offer Nicole for her to have wound care bedside tonight with us there. She said she would.

He reminded Nicole that she is past her 2nd anniversary. (2 months) 66 days sounds long but I think 2 months sounds very long. She is not out of the woods yet. She still has quite a road ahead of her. Her back and buttocks are not progressing as they would like. They tried this new stuff on her they thought would help. It is foam that protects the area and has silver in it to help with infection but it is supposed to wick away the moisture so it will heal faster. WELL....when it was taken off the other day it was too moist. It didn't do what it was supposed to and it just made a mess.

I asked Dr. Morris, "Since the 'experimental' foam was used on Nicole and it failed, what would it hurt to use our cold laser on Nicole. At least it is proven. It may not have been used in this hospital but it is being used in other hospitals for wound care but more importantly burns." He just looked at me. I thought for sure he was going to say no like the did before. This time he said he would look at the information John had given them and then make a decision. SO.....for everyone reading this. We need your prayers. Please pray for the doctors who will be reviewing the information on the cold laser to find the information credible and see the facts behind the research so that we can use it on Nicole. We have used it on many patients and have had great results. Many of you have had Cold Laser Therapy. You know what it can do. Send those happy healng thoughts out to the doctors.

The MRSA on her face and neck has also spread and they are going after that with a new tactic.

A few good things are, even though she is weak she still is able to participate in PT. Nicole is also able to eat things that are nectar thick. So I brought her a cream slush from sonic. ORANGE of course. It tastes like a creamcycle. She only can have a few bites at a time so that will last for quite a while. She tried mashed potatoes tonight and they got stuck in her throat. No bueno.

John left for a while to help his family unload the moving truck at Janet's new home. While he was gone we did wound care. The nurses all tried so hard to be gentle but there is no way around what they have to do. Even for all the gentleness the pain is so great. All I can do is hold her hand and stroke her head. Her little cries are like a little kitten crying for its mother. I want to ease her pain but but I can't. I can't do anything. I feel so helpless. I want to be able to kiss all the hurt away just like when she was little. Remember when your mothers kiss made everything better. You just knew that if you were hurt and you went to your mom she would kiss it better and off you would go to play like it never happened. Why can't I do that.

My sister had a magic washcloth for her kids. When they would fall down and get a scrap she would get out the magic wash cloth. It was black in color so when she would clean them up they wouldn't be able to see the blood. They were not scared and all was well. I need a magic washcloth. One that not only made it so we can't see the blood but one that will make the pain go away.

After John was finished unloading the truck he came back to the hospital with his sister Anne and her husband Rich. I think they unloaded that truck in record time. He was only gone 3 hours and it is about a 20 minute drive each way. When they arrived we were doing wound care so they couldn't come in right away. Well John could and he did. I was glad he got there when he did. He was able to see what was going on and what was not progressing. Her trunk looks really great by the way.

Rich and Anne visited with Nicole for a few minutes and then John and Rich gave her a blessing. Nicole had requested one earlier. I was so glad they were here. The blessing Rich gave her was beautiful. It gave me such strength and I know it will give Nicole the same now and for time to come. Thank you so much for taking the time to come up tonight. Soon after they left Nicole was able to sleep peacefully. I hope her night goes well.

On the way home my emotions are right at the surface. I don't know if I am making any sense. I am trying to explain to John what I am feeling and it is so jumbled. He is so patient with me. He was going to let me stay at the hospital tonight. Now that is love, not only for me but for her. Mostly because John would have had to do clinic by himself. Not an easy feat. But I feel good about going home tonight. I will see her tomorrow.