Today dawned with a fresh perspective on life. As I awoke a realized it was morning and the sun was waking up. I was amazed actually that it was beginning to be light outside as I had thought when I went to bed I would surely be awakened to return to the hospital in the night. With that behind me I started thinking about life and the cards that have been dealt on our side of the table.
As I look at each one I see John and I. That card is my most precious card. It is a card that cannot be discarded. It is my trump card. I have worked so hard for that card. Our life has not been easy by any way shape or form but it has been good. We are good for each other. We complement each other in way I never thought would happen. I am neither the easiest person to live with nor is he but we have managed to bring out the best in each other. We strengthen each other’s weaknesses.
The next card is Christian. What a lucky card that one is. I do have to say we have been blessed to have him in our family. When he was born he was an easy baby. Hardly ever crying, being content when I was doing other things. Quick to smile and laugh. He is the apple of our eye. We saw early on how caring he was. He wanted to share and made sure others around him were happy. Before he entered into something he looked at it from all angles. Take for example skiing. When he learned to ski he was cautious. He loves skiing but he also made sure he was safe and those around him were too. Before he would take a run he looked far ahead to see if there were obstacles in the way. I know that was not always the popular thing to do but that was him. I know he doesn’t always do that now but it is a quality I always admired, looking ahead. We couldn’t have chosen a better son, one who is caring, thoughtful, kind and loving, had we put in and ordered him ourselves.
Next is Nicole in my hand. It is hard to know how to describe this card. So complex yet so easy. From before she was born I knew we would have a daughter that would face many challenges. I had a dream when I was pregnant with Christian of that very thing. I thought we were actually having a girl and that was a dream about her. Was I surprised when HE was born? From the minute she was born she has been faced with hardship. This little girl that has been entrusted into our care has been a joy to raise. We have had heart ache and sleepless nights too many to count but we have seen the true spirit inside her. The one she will be when she leaves this life. And that is the joy.
The other cards in my hand are not worthy to be discarded either. These are the cards that come in and out of our hand. You know the ones …….. the ones you lay down because you don’t need them at this time and so you draw for a new card only to realize a few rounds down the road you wish you hadn’t discarded it. Like parents, friends, colleagues, neighbors, relatives even the bag boy. Especially the bag boy, when you are too tired to carry out your own groceries and he offers, then babbles on about nothing on your way to the car then ‘carefully’ puts your purchases in the backseat and gives you a smile and a ‘have a great day’.
My fresh perspective...... we are given many challenges. Of course we don’t want them. But we ‘get’ to have them. They teach us many things like patience, understanding, graciousness, love, peace, kindness, honor, forgiveness. Forgiveness, now that is a biggie. We all need to receive it as well as give it. Forgiveness is wanted by all but it is hard to give. I pray for forgiveness for past things I have done and I hope I receive it. We are not in any way shape of form perfect nor will we be in this life.
I see my sweet Nicole and I know of her imperfectness and sometimes see why God has given her some of her trials. (Mostly to help those around her) Have you ever thought of it in that way? My trials not only help me but also help those around me. I also see with some regret my imperfectness and pray for my weaknesses to become strengths.
Well, that is my fresh perspective. Today I will see the joy in those around me as well as the joy in our situation.