Thursday, September 10, 2009

DAY 68

John and I woke early to go to the unit so we could be there for Nicole during wound care and PT. John has not been here to see her having PT and hasn't seen her wound care for quite awhile.

Her therapists wanted her to walk today. She didn't want to because both of her heels have bed sores on them and they have now broken open and bleed. So now when she puts pressure on them they break open again and start the cycle all over. Her pain level was so high she only got about 5 feet. John has never seen her walk before. It was pure joy.

Wound care was my priority. I wanted to see how her back was. Well I can say it is a tiny bit better. Still bleeding a lot and still very raw but there was slight improvement. We keeping praying that the doctors will let us use the Cold Laser. Even with what they are doing the laser would speed up the process 10 fold.

Nicole did walk about 20 feet back from wound care. It was a lot easier. We attribute it to the nurses taking out all the staples holding the homographs. And maybe the warm water warming up her muscles.

Silently we walked hand in hand out of the unit. John, is quietly contemplating. His heart is wrenched into anguish. I can see it written all over his face. He was completely worn out. When he speaks it is at first so quiet I can hardly hear him. "I don't know how you do it day in and day out. I am wrung out." I say in return, "I do it out of love, for her and you and Christian."

It is true. The love I have for them is what gets me through as well as knowing God is there with me. To help me and show me the way. The way meaning the next step. I wish it was the way as in, "here is the end of the path and here are the steps to get you there." But no. It is, "Here is the path. There are mile markers on the way to show that you are on the right path. It may get dark, there will be many turns, boulders on the path, sometimes thorny bushes. Keep going. You will see the way. If you but trust in me." I still have peace that which ever way the path leads that is the plan for Nicole.

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