Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Day 80

After being at the hospital today I started feeling sick. I think I have food poisoning. I can't put my finger on where I would have picked up though, I eat out each day so the choices are emense. I am glad it is not contageous. I hope I feel better in the morning so I can be at the hospital with no hinderance.

There was not alot of change today. Nicole's lungs are not inflating like they should so respritory came in several times today to force air into her lungs to get then to work better. I hope the test results comeback soon so we can get the right antibiotics on board. I know that will make a differance.

Nicole is just exhausted from everything. She slept most of the day. It is hard to see her just sleeping. I want to talk to her and tell her she is amazing. I want to instill in her all the things a mother should teach their child. I want to tell her about my day and the amazing things I have been reading about or seeing or watching outside.

When the kids were little we would take lots of walks. They would each have a zip lock bag in hand. (It was for all the treasures we would find.) We would explore different areas like walking on the banks of the irrigation ditch on Fardown Ave. They would find pussy willows and pebbles, long willowy blades of grass or cat tails. Each child would put their lucky finds in their bag and we would go home and dicuss what we found.

One time we made collages from treasures. Christian made a picture that used bark and leaves to make "real" trees and grass to make, grass of course. Then he got pussy willows and took them apart to make billowy clouds. Water color filled in the rest. I loved his imagination. The world is a wonderous place. We are in no shortage of places to explore. All we have to do is look around us. The world is an open door to all possibility.


Julie said...


I stayed up reading from day 80 to Day 1. It's now 11pm, tears pouring down my cheeks, stopping and praying for Nicole and your whole family through the days of the blog. I am so sorry about Nicoles condition and will continue to pray for you all throught every day. You are so stong and such a tight family, as your one post said something along the lines of "family and love to Eternity".. which is so true and you are doing just that! The pictures of her made me weep, and reading about how strong you guys are and how you were willing up accept the unthinkable, and keeping your faith is so touching and unbelievable! You are all so strong beyond words and idk how you even do that. I feel i would not be capable of doing and being as strong as you are and or not just fall apart yourself everyday! God is in charge and will help hold you all through the good and bad times, knowing he will not give you anything you can not handle. Your words and story truly did touch me, and i pray for you all. You are an inspiration and im so glad i was able to know you! Reading the blog with tears pouring down, i couldnt help but stop and pray through it for you all. let me know if i can do absolutly anything at anytime. You are so strong and such an inspiration, that i hope some day i could be 1/2 as strong as you. Continue to stay paitent, pray each day and know the lord is by you every step of the way, and when you wonder why, why your beautiful little girl, why your family, never give up on the lord, seek and lean on him, he will hold you in his hand thought it all and somehow grant you all Peace.
wow.. i feel like i wrote a novel, and it may not make sense, as i feel at a loss for words, b/c no one truly knows what your going though, but know we are here for you... (sorry for the bad spelling/typing, crying doesnt make it easy to see the screen)..
in my thoughts and prayers always,

and please tell Nicole (althought i do not know her) we are all praying for her and hoping for the best! and your blog truly is inspiring in more ways then one!

Julie Ohl (Garver)

Kyla said...

Your don't know me but I am your sister in-law Sarah's counsin. I too just read from day 1-80 and i cant imagine what you are going through. We are so lucky to have the gospel in our lives and the knowledge that we can be together forever. I live in Spanish fork and i just feel so close. You are so strong, keep holding on. My Prayers are with you and your family.