Thursday, September 17, 2009

Day 75

When I thought things couldn't get worse they did.

Nicole had a CT scan taken this morning. When they came to take her I told them to take care of my little girl. She mouthed back to me, "I will always be your little girl." It was so sweet. Then she mouthed to tell her dad the same thing. While she was gone I called and told John. He said it made his day. I am glad something did.

The results are in. Nicole's liver is humongous. It extends clear to her left side and down past her right iliac crest. About 3 times the size is should be. No wonder she is experiencing stomach pain, her blood not clotting and a distended abdomen. As well as very yellow eyes.

Her liver is not producing the product needed to make her blood clot. So to help her blood clot they had to give her 8 units of fresh / frozen plasma. They ordered tests to try and find out why her liver is so huge. One possibility is hepatitis. There are other possibilities. We will just have to wait until the test results come back and then make a plan on how to proceed.

Christian came to the hospital today to have lunch with me. It was so nice to spend that time with him. It seems as though I don't ever see him although I do see him a few times a week. I try to talk to him each day for a few minutes just to check in.

As they are getting ready to take Nicole to surgery I called John. Nicole wanted to hear his voice and to let him know she loved him. Even though she couldn't physically tell him she wanted him to know. He also told her he loved her and called her Nikki, Nikki, Timbo, No so Rimbo, Oooh Mauh Muchi, Gumma, Gumma Guchi. She smiled. We prayed with her and John hung up.

I just laid my head next to hers and stroked her hair. I told her how proud I was of her and how much I loved her. I told her things I don't think I had ever told her before. Tears streamed down my face while I just held her hand. Wanting to be close. Wanting to hold her. They came into take her and I just wanted them to go away for 5 more minutes. They wheeled her out and I inwardly prayed for peace. As I started to leave the unit to walk while she was in surgery, Nicole's nurse Shawn followed me out. He touched my arm and asked if I was OK. He, of all people, has known how I have felt. He gave me comforting words. I know that Heavenly Father sent him to me at that moment to give me peace.

When she had surgery this afternoon Nicole's doctor was relieved that her blood clotted better than they thought it would. It was a problem but not as much as they had anticipated. I was so relieved. The doctors laid cadaver skin on Nicole's back to hopefully promote healing but also to lessen the pain she is feeling. Hopefully it won't do its job to well. Just enough to do some healing but not too much. We need that skin for another graph.

Nicole is still not breathing on her own.


Kristen said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your hard week with Nicole. It's always something - or twelve things! My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you, John, and Nicole. Here's hoping for lots of good news! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, Angi. If only tears could help, I know Nicole would be well by now just on mine alone. You all continue in my prayers, I check every day for Nicole's progress and can't wait until I read where she is out of the woods. Please say hello to John and Christian, too, I'm glad you all have each other to help get through this. Love to all, especially Nicole, Robin May