Day 55

It has been such a crazy day today. When I came to the unit Nicole didn't even know me. It freaked me out. She is so disoriented today. Her blood pressure was only 79/20 when I got here. I saw they had her on Albumin again. 2 bottles later and her blood pressure came up some but still lethargic and disoriented. I hate days like this.

During rounds today Dr. Saffel is puzzled why Nicole's blood pressure continues to be low and why she is disoriented and lethargic. I hope he is good at figuring out puzzles.

Pseudomonas is knocking on our door again. Hopefully it won't take too many tries to find the right antibiotic to get rid of it. Nicole now has yeast in her blood. Not the most beneficial thing to be dealing with. As I am looking at Nicole's stats, I see her IV pole. There are 9 bags hanging right now. The same amount as was hanging the first day when we came on the unit. 2 days ago it was only 2 bags.

Dr. Morris put in Nicole's central line today. It is now in her neck. They had to reposition it twice to make sure it was in the right place so it can stay in longer.

When talking to John today he could hear the anxiety in my voice. He was so supportive. He knew my fear instantly. I am leaving to go to Wichita tomorrow. It pains me to have to leave her in this position. I know she is getting great care but it is nothing like a mothers. I know she is being monitored all the time at the nurses station but I feel so much better when I am there and can see, all the time, what is going on. I am glad my parents will be coming to the unit each day to check on her. And of course I can call, day or night, to hear for myself how things are going.

This evening, Diane and Nicole, (cousins) came by to see Nicole. The two Nicole's have a special bond. John's family reunion will be in 2 weeks. At this reunion both Nicole's have their pictures taken together. That won't happen this year but hopefully a picture will be taken before too long. I love these two women. I have seen Nicole grow up. She has always held a special place in my heart. We visited for quite awhile, so good to catch up. I am grateful for the words they left with me. Thank you for the wonderful fresh garden veggies and the delicious poppy seed bread. I can't wait to read the book you gave to Nicole tomorrow.