Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Day 38

I woke this morning thinking I was going to have a great day after all the greatness of yesterday.
John called me early to see if I was at the hospital yet. He had a knot in his stomach that something was very wrong with Nicole. I called the hospital to see how she was. Everything was fine. I soon found myself worrying. On my way to the hospital I prayed that all was fine.

When I got to the burn unit Nicole was in the tank room. I gowned up and went in. I knew something was wrong the minute I looked at her. She was in such distress. I could tell she is in more pain today. Her eyes are pleading with me to help her. I just want to scoop her up and hug her tight. I want to kiss away all the hurt like she is 4 years old with a skinned knee. But all I can do I hold her hand.

Not feeling well doesn't stop other things from going on around us. P.T. comes in to get her. She is a trooper and does her exercises. Ashley is here to spend a little sweet time with her and cheer her on.

After a while of being back in bed Nicole spikes a fever of 104. No wonder her stats where out of whack. "What is going on" is my only thought. I don't get it, yesterday was so great. Then I remember the words of the doctor the first day we were here. "This is a roller coaster ride. She will have good days and bad, She can seem fine one minute and the next is topsy turvy. That is why we will give her 50/50 chance and not upgrade for for weeks because we just don't know."

Well someone knows. I just need to have a frank talk with Him. I need to know.

As I pull myself together again I know deep down inside that even though He knows He won't tell me. That is my trial. To endure to the end. Endure in all things. Endure not only for myself but for my child. And my child needs to endure. We will do this together. We will stay strong. We will fight this no matter which way it goes. We will win. We will endure.


Jeanne said...

We've been following Nicole's progress and praying for you all. It will all be okay. That is our promise.

The Hansens said...

waiting is the hardest part of anything. waiting and not knowing-

John said...

We're hoping with you. Hang in there.