Do you ever have times when you don't know which end is up. Or even sometimes when you don't know if it is day or night. I have had those days. Especially the last few days. With the Internet being down I can't blog about my thoughts. And if I can't blog about my thoughts I forget them because the days and nights are like one long day. I sometimes can't remember in which order things happened.
I was very happy when I came to Nicole's room today. She was sleeping much better. I see that the nurse has hung a fentynal drip. I am happy about that. Her nurses this morning tell me she didn't really sleep last night because of the pain. Even though they gave her several different types of pain control meds her pain was not under control. That is why the drip.
On days like today when Nicole is sleeping more I have time to ponder and pray. I reflect back in time to days long ago. Some memories are just a flicker of time. Some memories come back so strong they play in my mind like a movie. I can stop and rewind or skip a part. I wish I could rewind to July 3rd and make this whole thing go away. Or push the fast forward button and skip over the part where the pain is so real for us. Or the physical therapy. Or the wound care. All of which carries its own pain for us to endure.
Do you ever wonder why the pain is so real? Do you ever wonder why God made it so that we can practically feel the pain when we flash back to events like this. Sometimes the smell of an event will fill my nostrils. I always marvel at that. It is like going into a file room and opening up a file and looking at it. Examining it seeing the contents, smelling the paper and then putting it back to be seen another day. We know where those things are filed. Maybe if we took them out a little more often we wouldn't have such pain when we do look at them.
Today at the hospital was the first day of the new Internet access. Everyone said it would be so easy. Well I am not a computer genius but come on..... It took me 4.5 hours to finally get on. It was so frustrating. Even the help desk guy couldn't help me. So, after many buttons being pushed, settings looked at, and being very frustrated and set my home page to Google and viola, it worked. Now why would setting the home page at Google be the key. Who knows. But I am gad to say I can record my feelings better now.
I was able to stop by my sister Dana's home tonight so I could celebrate my nephews birthday with him. Jeramy turned 8. Dana has big bouncy house and the kids love to bounce in it. It looks like so much fun. And she made a very cute cake except it was really cupcakes. Made in the shape of a dragon.
Well I am off now to get some ZZZZ's I hope it come soon and stays for a while.