I can't believe we are at the 30 days mark. I can hardly fathom someone being in the hospital 10 days let alone 30 and knowing it will be more like 90 plus rehab. Sometimes I feel like the mice in "Who moved my cheese." I go to the hospital and go home. I try to be aware of my surroundings but I find myself thinking about that book and realizing I may not be. If anyone notices that I am getting that way please tell me before there is no more cheese.
When I arrived at the unit today they were just about ready to do Nicole's dressing changes. That is always such a stressful time for her. I am glad I got there when I did so I could at least hold her hand and sing to her sweet soothing songs that she loves.
When her dressing changes are finished, physical therapy comes in to move her to a tilt table. That is a table that starts out flat and incrementally they tilt it more upright to help her build her stamina up for being vertical. When they moved her the tubes coming out from her central line got caught on something and was pulled out. It was quite traumatic. Once they got the blood under control 2 different nurses tried twice each to get a temporary line in but couldn't. The unit had to call the air med team to come and get a line in her until the surgeon can put another one in tomorrow. She was so brave.
Nicole's infections are not responding to antibiotics yet. They have tried 5 different ones. I hope they find something that will touch it soon. Nicole also is having neuropathy in her left leg and and foot. She has the sensation of needles in her foot and leg similar to when your foot falls asleep and then wakes up.
I loved being with her today. I was able to sing to her and just look into her eyes. They were sparkly today despite all that was going on. We both love to look in each others eyes. We communicate so deeply that way. I can read her so well. She is tired but she is a fighter. I wonder how much more fight she has left. Like the bull in a ring eventually he gives up. I hope she fights like a bull in this life and the next. Never giving up just moving on to the next Bull Fighter.