Sweet Nicole

July 4th, 2009 Nicole received burns over 60% of her body. 80% are 3rd degree. John and I were awaken at 3:18am to the phone ringing. Our Lehi neighbor was calling to tell us that Nicole was being life flighted to the University of Utah hospital and she had been burned. We caught the first flight we could get and flew to Utah. As we are preparing to leave we had many thoughts....

Is this the end...

Will she even know us when we get there...

Will we recognize her when we get there...

How will Christian handle this...

How will we deal with this emotionally, physically, mentally and financially...

How will others respond...

We called Angi's parents at 3:45am. They went directly to the hospital. Christian was next. We know how much he hates hospitals so we were prepared that he may not go there. He too went directly there. John's mom was next to be called. She lives out of town and we knew she couldn't be right there but felt she should know right from the start.

How do you tell the people you love of such tragic news? How do you tell them the person they love is hurt and may not make it? For us it actually put us on the road to recovery. Many words of sadness, love, condolences, support were offered. We felt the out pouring of love from those around us.

Christian made sure she received a blessing. He said they called 2 men from another part of the hospital. In her blessing it was said that Heavenly Father knew of her difficulties that she had had and those she was going through now. He wanted her to know that through these challenges she has grown and also help those around her grow. Now it was her time to make a choice whether to stay in this life or not. Living was going to be very rough and what lies ahead was going to be a long and hard road. And choosing the other side was okay too. But, it was her choice and hers along to make.

As Christian is recounting this to us I had a distinct impression to tell her it was okay to make the decision to choose the other side. When Christian was done John said he also had the same impression. We said a prayer before we arrived at the hospital that we would know what to say and that whatever the outcome we would know that it was her choice and she would be taken care of.

As we arrived at the hospital we were apprehensive yet anxious to get on the unit and make our own assessment.

We had to gown up. No one is allowed in her room without a gown and gloves.

She looked so vulnerable. So hurt. So.....

Initial reaction..WOW! There was our daughter lying in this hospital in a medically induced coma. Tubes everywhere. Supine with both arms out away from her body and tied down so she can't flinch. She has been intebated and had a tube in her nose suctioning the fluids from her stomach so she doesn't vomit. Head shaved and so swollen she is un-recognizable. How do we as parents react to that....

As if she has fallen off her bike. We go to her and tell her how much we love her. How sorry we are that this has happened. We take her hand, carefully, just so we can feel close. Her feet are exposed which is one of two areas that are not damaged that we can actually touch, give that skin contact, that personal feel to her. I reached down to hold her foot, rubbing it like I was rubbing balm on my soul. Wishing I could crawl onto that bed and pull her into my arms.

We talk to her just as though she is hanging on our every word. John called her by her pet name.. Nikki Nikki Timbo, no so Rimbo, Ooh maou Muchi, Gumma Gumma Guchi. Through tears he finishes. He prays with her and over her. A fathers love is nothing to mess with. Especially that for a daughter.

It has been along day but before we leave we tell her that although we love her and would miss her greatly, we have the assured knowledge that we are a family that has been sealed together for time AND all eternity. We are a forever family and if she chooses to leaves this world we would understand and it was okay. I felt great peace.