These last few days have been hard on me. I have spent the last 2 weeks at the hospital watching Nicole. I have seen dressing changes, wound care, IV's run out, vitals checked, the love and care that each nurse or aide gives Nicole. Each day watching and waiting. Each ever so slight change I have been there ti witness.
These last 2 days John has been in town. Not only is he here to see and care for his daughter but his patients here also need care. I stay with John to help him with his patients. We see patients in the day and then go to the unit at night. Such a change for me after the previous two weeks. I feel frustrated because I only get a glimpse of her day through the eyes of others. The short time I am there is not satisfying.
I see her laying on her bed. The nurse has brought in a fan for Nicole. When she is awake she is hot. She is sleeping quietly. At night when we come she sleeps.
Nicole finally had her tubby today. They took her to the tanks room. She lays on a table and they use spray nozzles to wash her. She smelled so good. Don't you love it when your kids get out of the tubby and they smell so fresh and clean. My nose fills with sweet memories.
Nicole's lungs are very congested. She is being suctioned about 2 times an hour. She is coughing quite a bit these past several days. She doesn't have pneumonia but they are watching her close. The doctor decided to sit her up in a cardiac chair today. She is strapped in but it give her lungs a chance to clear more. It tires her out to be sitting up for so long.
Respiratory also came today to fit Nicole with a button that covers her trach. It will be used one day so it will block the air coming out through the trach so she will be able to talk. Her button doesn't fit too well so they will make her one special. It will be so good to hear her speak again.
Nicole's doctors have re-evaluated her next surgery date again. She will not have surgery this week at all. They will decide next week. Once she has it again she will be laying on her back so she won't be clearing her lungs as good. There are so many things to manage.
Nicole's room is so peaceful. It feels like the room is permeating with love. It is tangible. We feel she is attended by those from the other side. She is steadily progressing and we feel sure that there are those on the other side helping her in the decisions that are being made and in the repairing of her body. If Nicole makes it through this she will need a strong body and mind. The faith of those here on the earth and the help from those who have gone before us will make her strong. We know it helps us.
Since John has been here in Utah I have been sleeping better although now when I wake I could go back to sleep but there is no time. I hope when John leaves I find sleep easier.