Day 19

Today Miss Nicole had quite the day. She sat for a while again to help clear her lungs. Her best friend Ashley went to see her today to read to her. She has our same coloring so no one has asked if she is family or not. It has been really good for Ashley to go ans see her. She has has a hard time with this whole ordeal. I am grateful for her love and concern for Nicole. She has been a friend through thick and thin. That is a true friend. They have been friends since they were 18 months old. Our families have been through a lot together. There is a book at the hospital for people to write notes to Nicole in. I was reading some of them last night. A small portion of what Ashley had written, "Nicole, When we were growing up I was jealous of you because I loved your love of life. You were not afraid of anything. I wish I could be like that." That really does describe Nicole. She has such a love for life.

Most all the time she is in dream land. Sleeping the worries away. I just love to see her sleep. Many memories each day come to my mind. Sometimes it is a flit of a memory, sometimes it is lengthy. Many, many nights I layed by both Christian and Nicole and rubbed their heads to soothe them or help them get to sleep. To this day they love to have their heads rubbed.

Nicole has physical therapy in bed for an hour. She responded well to about half of the commands. Respiratory also came to again try the voice button. Not much luck but one day they will get it right. We appreciate all they do for her each day. You cannot imagine all the people that come in contact with Nicole each day.

Last night John and I were talking to Nicole's nurse about how great we think the staff is. He said that there are so many people who want to work on this unit. They are beating down the doors to get in. There is so much comradery, caring, love and kindness amongst the whole staff. I think it would be a hard unit to work in but you can tell they love it. I am in awe of them.

Angi's parents have been to the hospital nearly everyday. Mostly they just come to see her for a few minutes. An update is not good enough for them. John's mom came from Koosharem today and said she was going to see her tonight. She hasn't seen Nicole since July 5th. Nicole will look so differant. More like herself.

Tonight we celebrate Christian's birthday so John can be here. We always let the birthday person choose their favorite place to eat.

Christian chose Carraba's! Yummo. I love that place. I always have the same thing...Chicken Parmesan with half garlic mashed potatoes and half spaghetti. There is so much food that I can take half home. Now that is the best part. Leftovers. Christian gets Chicken Parm also with fettuccini and John, the Sirloin Marsala. We are such creatures of habit. The waiter brought out some ice cream that tasted like custard. It was good but not as good as Sub-Zero. Sub-Zero Rocks. Rachel and Aaron own the one in Pleasant Grove. It si so fun to have ice cream there and watch them make it right before your eyes. my favorite used to be mint ice cream with Jr. Mints. Now it is cinnamon ice cream with cookie dough. So good. Thanks Rachel and Aaron for letting us in after closing to be able to get recharged. Thanks too for the words of comfort.

Trying to juggle two worlds is hard. I don't know how Hannah Montana does it. (Nicole loves that show). We have the after the fire world. The world where I would like to stay in with Nicole. I want to be there every second to make sure she is feeling all the love I have for her. The world where, when I am in the room it seems to stop for a while.

Then we have the other world. The one that I can't ignore. The one that has to be addressed. You know the one...The bills need to get paid, I need to eat and sleep, our clinic has questions or needs answers, I want to spend time with Christian, talk on the phone with John, I need clean clothes, the dishes need to be done and the yard needs care.

I need to figure out how to juggle better. I have been so good at it in the past but right now I don't think it is working as well as I want it to. I have too many hats right now. I need a hat rack. That what I will do...look for a new hat rack.