Day 26

All is so quiet in the unit today. I love it when it is like this. It is so peaceful. My most favorite reason I love it is because I know all the patients are doing well.

When we came to the unit today Nicole was in wound care. The nurses that do that are so amazing. That is all they do all day. You would think that it would be a job nobody would want but they love it. I am glad they do because I know I couldn't do that day in and day out. It really takes amazing people to do that.

When they are done she has new gloves on. They are pressure gloves. They are to help with swelling. The bandages she had before were good but now that her hands a graphed and they are healing it is time for the pressure bandages. A good sign.

Nicole's BP is more stable today but still low. She is not running a fever today. Another good sign. She doesn't talk to me today. So much healing going on I guess she is just tuckered out.

23 years ago at this time I went into labor with Nicole. We had eaten dinner and I was bushed. I had just told John I wasn't sure I could do this labor thing again. Nicole was already 24 days late. The doctor had just told us the day before if I didn't go into labor in the next 48 hours he would induce me. Well, I guess we get to do this the regular way. My labor begins. We took Christian to my parents home only 3 blocks away. Off we go.

The hospital is only a 10 minute drive but it feels like 45. My labor was kind of irregular when I got there and they wanted me to go home. "NOT ON YOUR LIFE! I have come to have this baby and you can't send me home." I asked for a jacuzzi tub to sit in for a while. I knew that would relax me and get the show on the road. Well.....after 3 hours it did. My water finally broke. Labor ensued.

So many thoughts going on inside my head. I remember it like it was yesterday. Will I be a good mom to 2 kids. Will our kids be great friends. Will I ever get any sleep. Will I ever get though this night. Will I ....Will I... Will I.... SO many thoughts.

My regular doctor was out of town and we had to have the on call doctor. He wasn't my favorite person. I think he is too hasty. My thoughts are right on. He didn't really want to wait for Nicole to take her time in coming so he forecept her, cord around her neck, strangling her. We hear him say, "oh no". That is not a good sign when the doctor says, "oh no". He realizes too late. Nicole has to be whisked the the NICU and resuscitated. Off John goes with his precious cargo. Not letting her out of his sight. A few hours later John returns to give me the details of what is happening. Thank goodness for a great pediatrician. He got her on track.

Several hours later I was able to hold her for the first time. She was so small. 5 lbs, 18 inches long. Born at 4:29am July 30, 1986. We named her Nicole Elish Carlston. I can't believe she will be 23 tomorrow.

She was all worth the wait. So tiny yet so large in spirit. I love to hold her. Christian couldn't say Nicole so he called her Coe. That stuck for a year or so then he started calling her Sissy. She has many nicknames.....Coe, Sissy, Doer, Skinner, Sister do, Nikki, Nicola. All names of love. All names that I say to her now to see if she responds to any of them. Besides Nicole she responds to Niki Nikki Timbo. Of course she does, because that is her special name. I remember the book that name comes out of........

LONG NAME NO CAN SAY

It is about a Chinese boy who is born like 9th after 8 girls. His mother names him Nikki Nikki Timbo No So Rimbo Oooh Miuo Muchi, Gumma Gumma Guchi because she wanted him to have the best name. ( the longer the name the better) Very cute story.

I have been blessed to have her in my life these 23 years. Thank you Heavenly Father for giving her to me. I'm doing my best.