Friday, November 20, 2009

Day 140 D-Day


Today Nicole was discharged from the unit. I wasn't sure I would see this day happen. I thought I would be more apprehensive than I am. I guess I am relieved that she actually made it through. Many, many times her life was spared. Many times she hung by a thread. Many times I found myself holding my breath from one step to the next.

Today is the first day of the rest of her life. It will be a different life. For now it will be a lot of the same as in the hospital. Nicole is not completely healed and it will take months of care, PT and re-learning. She will not be able to do somethings that she did before, somethings will have to be modified and some things will just take time to get back into the hang of things.

We are all in different stages of healing. Both physically and mentally. There is so much to think about, do , take care of, arrange, fix, clear out, get your mind right and live for. This takes a lot out of you. But on the flip side I have learned so much. My trust in Heavenly Father has grown ten fold. My faith too.

Trust in Him that He knows best. He knows us all better then we know ourselves. He knows what will make us stronger and what lessons we need to learn. Faith that He will always be there for me. All I need to do is get on my knees and He will listen.

When this all started we didn't know which way was up. What we were going to do. How we were going to adjust. But one thing we did know, we knew that Heavenly Father was in charge. We prayed for His guidance. We prayed for comfort and the ability to discern the best course of action. We knew that if Heavenly Father took Nicole that was going to be the best for everyone involved. We also knew He was right there with us, crying right along with us.

We are grateful for this outcome but we were also prepared for a different one. We knew each one would have been hard. Nicole,, not living would have been heart breaking in the beginning but the knowledge we have of the life after this one is one we look forward to. One where we are reunited and live together as a forever family. We also knew that Nicole living would be hard too. The obstacles she would face. The people she would encounter that don't understand.

Well, that is where we are now. We are in the beginning of the later life. The life that will have many unknowns. Many days filled with tears and uncertainty. Some days with sunshine and nary a cloud. But whatever the day is I know we will face it with a happy heart and a smile.

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