Day 181

Snuggling in bed this morning, feeling Nicole breathing softly, I am whisked back to the first day of this new journey we are on. John and I walked in to her room, her new home for the next 140 days. I went to her like any mother would. I peer through weeping eyes at someone I don't recognize but I feel her spirit one with mine.

I stroke her head much like I am doing now. Soft, smooth, gentle. Knowing I cannot lay close but wanting to do that very thing. Nothing more would bring such happiness as to lay close and breath in her fragrance.

Today, I feel that happiness. Not only can I stroke her soft head but I can snuggle close. I can touch not only hear hair or her feet but also her face, her back, her arms, her legs.

Remembering the first days of her life, caressing each tiny part of her. Wondering what she will be like as she grows. Wondering what new and adventurous things she will bring into our lives. The added smiles, hugs and kisses. The playfulness I knew she would have just like her brother.

What a blessing kids are. Could you ask for anything better?