I wish I had my camera this morning. As I was driving to the grocery store the sun was trying to peak over the mountains. There was a whiff of a cloud in the sky the sun had brilliantly lit up. Man, I hope I can catch that again one day.
With it being Friday, my day is always so crazy when John is here. Seeing patients, packing up, making food, laundry, cleaning, doing last minutes things to get ready for him to go home and this time me to go with him.
My dad's surgery went well. Many tumors were removed and chemo was started. He stayed over night and was told if all went well in the night he would be able to go home today.
John was able to get several things moved this morning with the help of Tom. Thanks a bunch. I may be able to get a vehicle in the garage soon. I hope to before the snow flies. Me ands now are not friends unless I can stay in the home, sit by a fire and drink hot cocoa. Now that is my idea of a day. Oh yeah, and a warm cozy blanket. Preferably the one Kassi made me, BYU fleece. Or this other sweet one that is brown with crazy pink and cream flowers. Although, Nicole is using that one at the hospital. Good thing we are not having snow right now.
Tonight after we see Nicole John and I will be driving to Kansas City for a meeting this weekend and then on to Wichita so I can tend to some business. It will be good to spend more time with John as well as see familiar sites and friends.
I stocked up on a few things to leave with Nicole at the hospital. Of course mac and cheese, she wanted to try laughing cow cheese and a cracker she likes. I hope theses stores last until I come back. I will miss her. Good thing I can talk to her on the phone each day. She will raise my spirits and I hope that I will do the same.
Nicole's day is another day of progression. I am happy we have been going forward for many days now.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Day 126
Christian will be going to a new neurologist. Today he had another check up and still they are stumped. I know the brain and heart are complicated but this is ridiculous. How many more days do we wait and wonder when the next time he will loose consciousness. I know he is frustrated, probably more that I know. I know they can figure it out but what is taking so long.
Nicole wanted a bacon cheese burger from Wendy's. I took her one and as she was eating it she said, "I don't know why I am eating this. It doesn't even taste that good. I think I don't like fast food anymore." I was happy to hear that. Fast food is laden with fats and junk. Not that I don't partake once in a while, especially Cafe Rio, but I too would like to be free from the fast food grip.
After discussing the pros and con's of fast food we again took our walk to Starbucks. This time she had pumpkin hot chocolate and as she was drinking it announced the cider was more to her liking. I just laughed. We tried the night air again and this time the smokers were further away and so we were able to sit outside for a while. The night air was blissful. Not cold and just a touch of a breeze. We even saw a huge dust devil. Instead of dust it was full of fall leaves. What a sight. It reminded me of the fall leaves in Winnie the Pooh and how they fly around.
Happy am I!
Nicole wanted a bacon cheese burger from Wendy's. I took her one and as she was eating it she said, "I don't know why I am eating this. It doesn't even taste that good. I think I don't like fast food anymore." I was happy to hear that. Fast food is laden with fats and junk. Not that I don't partake once in a while, especially Cafe Rio, but I too would like to be free from the fast food grip.
After discussing the pros and con's of fast food we again took our walk to Starbucks. This time she had pumpkin hot chocolate and as she was drinking it announced the cider was more to her liking. I just laughed. We tried the night air again and this time the smokers were further away and so we were able to sit outside for a while. The night air was blissful. Not cold and just a touch of a breeze. We even saw a huge dust devil. Instead of dust it was full of fall leaves. What a sight. It reminded me of the fall leaves in Winnie the Pooh and how they fly around.
Happy am I!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Day 125
This week is going by in a blur.
John had a meeting tonight so I went to see Nicole by myself. I was actually happy to do it. It gave me time to assess her just from my perspective. Not that John clouds it just that I love to watch her and see what is changing, what is developing and what observations she is making.
As soon as I got to the unit she was waiting for me in a wheel chair to go for a walk. We have not been able to do that for several days due to her last surgery. Out we went......straight to Starbucks. We love that place. I just their pumpkin hot chocolate. It is seasonal but I look forward to that sumptuous dark liquid sliding down my throat. Nicole, her favorite is caramel apple cider. That is good too but not as good as the hot chocolate.
Next, we went outside to breath what we thought would be fresh air. Well, there were several people outside smoking. Needless to say we turned right around and came back through the revolving door into the lobby. Nicole told me it was OK because it was too cold but I think she didn't want me to feel bad that she was disappointed.
Today was a much better day again for Nicole. Wound care went great as did PT. She is progressing right along.
Nicole has a smile for everyone that comes into the unit. She has made friends with several people that are visiting their loved ones. They walk by and call her name, say hello and smile. Some see her progression from day to day. I am sad they see her more than I do. But I am grateful she has others to talk to at times as well as knowing others are there and know she needs a smile.
John had a meeting tonight so I went to see Nicole by myself. I was actually happy to do it. It gave me time to assess her just from my perspective. Not that John clouds it just that I love to watch her and see what is changing, what is developing and what observations she is making.
As soon as I got to the unit she was waiting for me in a wheel chair to go for a walk. We have not been able to do that for several days due to her last surgery. Out we went......straight to Starbucks. We love that place. I just their pumpkin hot chocolate. It is seasonal but I look forward to that sumptuous dark liquid sliding down my throat. Nicole, her favorite is caramel apple cider. That is good too but not as good as the hot chocolate.
Next, we went outside to breath what we thought would be fresh air. Well, there were several people outside smoking. Needless to say we turned right around and came back through the revolving door into the lobby. Nicole told me it was OK because it was too cold but I think she didn't want me to feel bad that she was disappointed.
Today was a much better day again for Nicole. Wound care went great as did PT. She is progressing right along.
Nicole has a smile for everyone that comes into the unit. She has made friends with several people that are visiting their loved ones. They walk by and call her name, say hello and smile. Some see her progression from day to day. I am sad they see her more than I do. But I am grateful she has others to talk to at times as well as knowing others are there and know she needs a smile.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Day 124
When John is in town our visiting times to see Nicole is 8-10pm. It is hard to go at that time of night. All parties involved are tired and cranky. I felt so bad last night when I left because I was not as patient as I wanted to be. And, it didn't seem like anything I did could make her happy.
Tonight I will do better. I will have a better attitude. I will know my behavior will make or break her behavior. I will serve her and in turn the spirit of the room with be more conducive.
As I planned the day I made mental notes on how I could help Nicole more. I can't wait for tonight.
Working with John in the clinic is very rewarding. I love to see each patient come in and the transformation they make. Health is an amazing thing. Sometimes people are cranky when they first become patients. Their demeanor starts to change right before our eyes as they begin to have wellness. They become happy, smiling, cheerful, joyful. I love it.
John and I arrived at the unit tonight 30 minutes late. It was not how I wanted to start the night, but, I went in with a smile on my face. "HI, SISSY!" She smiled. So far a better night.
She was watching some TV show. I talked to her in a soothing voice. I just wanted tonight to be better. Nicole was very squirmy because of all the itchy skin she has. I offered to scratch her back which she was grateful for. That in turn, turned into putting lotion on dry areas which in turn lead to massaging her shoulders and neck. Nicole was in heaven and I felt heaven close.
That is what I prayed for. For Nicole and I to be happy even though it was late and even though her schedule was disrupted all would be OK.
I could tell putting lotion and A and D was not only soothing her itchy skin, it was also soothing her soul. As I was rubbing those areas I felt as though the action was like a balm to my soul as well. The time there went by quickly and I was sad to see it end. Even though it was late I was happy.
Tonight I will do better. I will have a better attitude. I will know my behavior will make or break her behavior. I will serve her and in turn the spirit of the room with be more conducive.
As I planned the day I made mental notes on how I could help Nicole more. I can't wait for tonight.
Working with John in the clinic is very rewarding. I love to see each patient come in and the transformation they make. Health is an amazing thing. Sometimes people are cranky when they first become patients. Their demeanor starts to change right before our eyes as they begin to have wellness. They become happy, smiling, cheerful, joyful. I love it.
John and I arrived at the unit tonight 30 minutes late. It was not how I wanted to start the night, but, I went in with a smile on my face. "HI, SISSY!" She smiled. So far a better night.
She was watching some TV show. I talked to her in a soothing voice. I just wanted tonight to be better. Nicole was very squirmy because of all the itchy skin she has. I offered to scratch her back which she was grateful for. That in turn, turned into putting lotion on dry areas which in turn lead to massaging her shoulders and neck. Nicole was in heaven and I felt heaven close.
That is what I prayed for. For Nicole and I to be happy even though it was late and even though her schedule was disrupted all would be OK.
I could tell putting lotion and A and D was not only soothing her itchy skin, it was also soothing her soul. As I was rubbing those areas I felt as though the action was like a balm to my soul as well. The time there went by quickly and I was sad to see it end. Even though it was late I was happy.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Day 123
What a night we had. We love going to Snowbird overnight. Right now they are having a fall special. $100 for the night and you get a $50 resort credit. If you have a day to go I highly recommend it. We checked in a had dinner at the Steak Pit. Took some amazing pictures of the sun setting and snuggled by the fire. My kind of reconnection.
Watched the sunrise over the Wasatch Front and from our balcony, could see the Salt Lake Valley light up. Breakfast at the Airie. Delicious. Amazing what a few hours away together can do for a relationship.
Nicole had another pretty good day. She is still having PT in bed. It is mostly just stretching but everything helps. She is looking forward to getting out of bed again. As she heals from this last surgery she will be so happy to get up again.
We enjoy our 'walks' to the bridge to be able to watch the birds fly and look at the sky. Nicole is looking forward to being outside. Even with the cold she can't wait to feel the cool air on her skin. I think the thing she is looking forward the most is walking outside. And maybe eating home cooking.
I am going to make Nicole a poster that she can count down the days until she comes home. We don't know the day exactly but I am going to count down from Christmas. It will be a visual that will help her and when she gets out before then she will be that much happier that she beat the countdown. It will help me too.
Christian is again struggling. He passed out again today. We are all frustrated. The emergancy kit didn't help today. There was not much warning this time.
What more can I do? What am I not doing to help this situation? I know the answers are out there for both children. I know the help is there, we just need the clues to get the answers.
Watched the sunrise over the Wasatch Front and from our balcony, could see the Salt Lake Valley light up. Breakfast at the Airie. Delicious. Amazing what a few hours away together can do for a relationship.
Nicole had another pretty good day. She is still having PT in bed. It is mostly just stretching but everything helps. She is looking forward to getting out of bed again. As she heals from this last surgery she will be so happy to get up again.
We enjoy our 'walks' to the bridge to be able to watch the birds fly and look at the sky. Nicole is looking forward to being outside. Even with the cold she can't wait to feel the cool air on her skin. I think the thing she is looking forward the most is walking outside. And maybe eating home cooking.
I am going to make Nicole a poster that she can count down the days until she comes home. We don't know the day exactly but I am going to count down from Christmas. It will be a visual that will help her and when she gets out before then she will be that much happier that she beat the countdown. It will help me too.
Christian is again struggling. He passed out again today. We are all frustrated. The emergancy kit didn't help today. There was not much warning this time.
What more can I do? What am I not doing to help this situation? I know the answers are out there for both children. I know the help is there, we just need the clues to get the answers.
Day 122
John is in town. I am so happy. There is nothing like being reunited with the one you love. He got in at 1am. I got up and helped him unpack the van and to bed we went.
It has been a while since I have been able to attend church with John. I sat so close to him I practically sat on him. I loved looking over at him to see him looking at me smiling. So in LOVE!
Today is the first day of visiting change to evening. When John is in town the unit moves visiting time to accommodate his schedule. Nicole is doing fairly well. She has a very bad UTI again. They took out her catheter to try to alleviate the infection also treating with an antibiotic. Not having a cath is harder on Nicole when she has just had surgery. But I will say that this last surgery has been less painful for her.
I am always so happy to see her and still wish I could see her for more hours a day.
Tonight John is taking me to Snowbird overnight. Time to get to snuggle by a fire and enjoy the crisp mountain air. I can't wait.
It has been a while since I have been able to attend church with John. I sat so close to him I practically sat on him. I loved looking over at him to see him looking at me smiling. So in LOVE!
Today is the first day of visiting change to evening. When John is in town the unit moves visiting time to accommodate his schedule. Nicole is doing fairly well. She has a very bad UTI again. They took out her catheter to try to alleviate the infection also treating with an antibiotic. Not having a cath is harder on Nicole when she has just had surgery. But I will say that this last surgery has been less painful for her.
I am always so happy to see her and still wish I could see her for more hours a day.
Tonight John is taking me to Snowbird overnight. Time to get to snuggle by a fire and enjoy the crisp mountain air. I can't wait.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Day 121
Happy Halloween, everyone.
What a glorious day it is. Beautiful robins egg blue cloudless sky. When I left this morning to start my list I couldn't believe how beautiful the morning was. I was telling John that the mountains looked like a pencil sketch in the sky. The sun was at such an angle that there was no imagery or dimension to the mountains. They looked amazing.
I saw a few hot air balloons as well as para-penters. The air was crisp. It couldn't have started out to be a better day.
I am a morning person usually and now that my sleep pattern has returned to almost normal I am happy to watch the sun rise over the Wasatch Front.
Nicole is on the road to recovery. Even with surgery yesterday her pain level is about a 5. I am so happy about that. I know it is hard for her the first few days after surgery because she cannot get out of bed, open areas hurt with just the slightest pressure and just being bored staying in bed all day. Activities I know she would love the most like crocheting she cannot do right now because she has a hard time making her left hand work the way she wants it to. I hope that recovers well. She loves to crochet.
I am grateful we are over a hump. Grateful that we are not waiting and wondering each moment of each day. I know this journey is not over by any means. Our journey so far has been to exercise faith in Jesus Christ, that by Him and though Him all things are possible. Our faith has been stretched many times but knowing all will happen by His will, helps us to build our faith stronger.
I don't know if our journey will be long or short. I know our journey had passed and crossed the paths of many people. As our paths cross, we are blessed to know others and rejoice in their journeys also. Thank you for sharing your journeys with us. The path is long and hot and sweaty sometimes but the cool stream at the end of the path is always welcome.
That is how I look at things. Yes, the work is hard. Yes, I don't like it much. Yes, the path can be dark and dreary sometimes, but, isn't it worth it to push through things that we come up against to get the greatest reward. In my case, a twinkly eye smile, a hug with a pat, seeing Nicole walking and knowing she will be coming home one day. But most of all knowing, if I do my best, journey on my path, that I will receive the greatest reward. Living with my family and God forever.
What a glorious day it is. Beautiful robins egg blue cloudless sky. When I left this morning to start my list I couldn't believe how beautiful the morning was. I was telling John that the mountains looked like a pencil sketch in the sky. The sun was at such an angle that there was no imagery or dimension to the mountains. They looked amazing.
I saw a few hot air balloons as well as para-penters. The air was crisp. It couldn't have started out to be a better day.
I am a morning person usually and now that my sleep pattern has returned to almost normal I am happy to watch the sun rise over the Wasatch Front.
Nicole is on the road to recovery. Even with surgery yesterday her pain level is about a 5. I am so happy about that. I know it is hard for her the first few days after surgery because she cannot get out of bed, open areas hurt with just the slightest pressure and just being bored staying in bed all day. Activities I know she would love the most like crocheting she cannot do right now because she has a hard time making her left hand work the way she wants it to. I hope that recovers well. She loves to crochet.
I am grateful we are over a hump. Grateful that we are not waiting and wondering each moment of each day. I know this journey is not over by any means. Our journey so far has been to exercise faith in Jesus Christ, that by Him and though Him all things are possible. Our faith has been stretched many times but knowing all will happen by His will, helps us to build our faith stronger.
I don't know if our journey will be long or short. I know our journey had passed and crossed the paths of many people. As our paths cross, we are blessed to know others and rejoice in their journeys also. Thank you for sharing your journeys with us. The path is long and hot and sweaty sometimes but the cool stream at the end of the path is always welcome.
That is how I look at things. Yes, the work is hard. Yes, I don't like it much. Yes, the path can be dark and dreary sometimes, but, isn't it worth it to push through things that we come up against to get the greatest reward. In my case, a twinkly eye smile, a hug with a pat, seeing Nicole walking and knowing she will be coming home one day. But most of all knowing, if I do my best, journey on my path, that I will receive the greatest reward. Living with my family and God forever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
