DAY 206

This is my view from my comfy seat at DIA.




No one here as you can see. I can't count how many times I have been at DIA over night.

They have these great bars and stools where you can put your laptop and plug it in along with your phone. This is where I was sitting for a few hours while I waited for John to get here.



I have learned to take my blanket and travel pillow just in case John is way layed. I wish I could have taken a picture of myself resting in this great chair I found in the Southwest Airlines area. It looked like a easy-boy but it didn't recline. So comfy. Too bad other areas don't offer them. If I am way layed again I will for sure come back to this area. Comfort, warmth, security. That is all I need. And the bathrooms were right there too.

I was so happy when John text me and said he was only 10 minutes away. I made my way on the train to the baggage claim. My knight in shining armor was there, waiting for me, smile a mile wide just for me. When I emerged from the airport he leaped from the van, arms open wide to encircle me with him.

The drive back to SLC was uneventful for the most part. Even though John hadn't slept much, he stayed up talking to me and catching up. Just he and I, breathing in each others spirits. Nothing is better than this moment.

Day 204

This week has been filled getting ready for John to come to town Saturday. When he is not here I let a few things slide like, I might not vacuum each week or dust. Or any number of things. It just isn't quite the priority when there are so many other things that need to be taken care of.

Like today for example. Priority, watch the snow falling lazily from the sky blanketing the frozen ground with soft magical flakes. Defiantly a priority.

I finally took down our tree. It is all boxed up and put away. The ornaments are a different story. At least the are all sorted by item ready to be wrapped and put in their snug little boxes. The rest of the decor is also down but not put away. I guess I will do that today amongst the myriad of other things that need to be done. Cleaning, an appointment, Costco, D.I. for a donation, wound care, laundry and of course....shoveling the wet stuff outside. All in a days work.

Nicole is doing amazingly well. She is healing and coming right along. Right now with her arm in a splint it is hard for her to dress or do much for herself but she has a great attitude. There are many times during the week when I just sit and watch her. I look deep in her eyes. I see a new Nicole. I see someone with new knowledge. I see a sweet girl who loves everyone and the only thing she wants in return is love.

When we are out and around other people who don't know us I see the curiosity on their faces. "I wonder what happened or don't go by her." It makes me wonder how many times I have thought those very thoughts when I have seen people different then me. I hope when I am around others I will be more loving and accepting.

When John comes in town life is so crazy busy. Clinic, family, friends but mostly catching up with each other. I so look forward to the time he is here with us. He blesses our home with his presence. Even though life is busier, life is better.


He is my best friend, my confidant, my lover, my blessing given to me by a loving Heavenly Father who knew John is what I needed in my life to help me through all life would throw at us. All the joys and the sorrows. The hills and the valleys. He makes me happy.

We lovingly brought these two children into our lives. I know people do it everyday but when it happened to us I was amazed. I still am amazed. What joy they have brought into our lives.


I LOVE YOU, JOHNNY!

Day 200

I can't believe it has been 200 days since July 4th. What an amazing journey. All I can say is GOD is in charge. We can make choices/decisions that send us on a path but that path has a map. We may not have that map but God does. If you listen close the Holy Ghost will whisper you the directions to follow.

Today, Sunday, is not starting out like I wanted it to. I love it when Sundays bring tranquil time. Actually it is quiet here but it was the no sleep that has no agitated. NO sleep brings me headaches, lack of energy, lack of good spirits, and down right orneriness.

We are not going to the U to get Nicole's other splint. When I called this morning, Walter said to just take off the splint we have, prop her up good and wait until tomorrow. Also to wash the area with baby magic to help remove the residue from the splint. Hopefully that will help and I can get a nap this afternoon.

I was hoping to refinish my kitchen table and chairs this week before John comes into town. I am staining the top a dark brown to match my cupboards and painting the legs and chairs black. I have never done this before and have been perusing many websites for tips. Then I realized I only have about 10 more hours of studying to finish up 3 courses I have been taking. That won out. What a monkey off my back that will be.

Nicole was in no position to go to church today so needless to say I needed to stay home, too. I guess I will read the Sunday school lesson and the Relief Society lesson tonight. That will give my week the needed boost it needs. I did get out of bed and put 'dinner' in the oven that I ate at noon, Nicole was asleep and Christian had oatmeal. Who wants oatmeal over roast, roasted potatoes and carrots and a muchroom gravy. I guess he can warm it up for dinner. I am done cooking today.

Day 199

Today, Nicole and I went to the U to have her check up. 5 days post op. Everything looks great except her left arm. The area where they did a flap and double Z-plasty has opened up. Not so big but about the size of a dime and it is about 3/4 inch deep. New tactics we have. I am going to re-dress her each day and take out the packing. Yes, I have to pack it everyday with dressing material. No big deal. At least it doesn't gross me out. I am not sure if anything will anymore.

PT made her a new splint also and even though in theory it should work, it actually is causing more pain and discomfort as well as more spots that are breaking open. Definitely going in the wrong direction. Tomorrow I will go back to the U and get her old splint. Even though it is not the best it is better then this one.

Christian had an eventful evening. After bowling and shooting pool with friends he had many episodes of nearly passing out and even one episode where he was standing up but no one was home. When he came to, his legs just went out from under him and he sat right down on his backside. He said later it felt like someone had a switch connected to him turning it on and off. One second he felt fine then the next he felt like he was on the down side of a roller coaster. Back and forth.

Anyone heard of those symptoms? Too bad he didn't have his monitor on. He needs more pads. I hope when the pads come something like this happens again. Even though I am sure it is scary for him, we need this recorded.

So grateful he was with people who care about him and didn't just send him on his way alone. Thanks Nat and Spencer. Love you guys.

Looking forward to the Sabbath tomorrow. I hope Nicole is able to go and if not she is OK to leave at least for sacrament meeting.

Day 197

I just couldn't stand my pantry one more day. I couldn't find anything, there were out dated items and things were falling off the shelves. So, I just jumped in with both feet.

9 am started taking items out of the pantry. I can't believe how much junk is in here. Out dated chips, crackers, soup even. Sad to see all of this thrown out. I also just bought some oatmeal. When cleaning I found 2 boxes of the same oatmeal I just bought. What?! I did find yummy cookies that I thought were already eaten. Bonus! I also made a list of everything that I saved so I know what is there and what I can make a meal out of.

1:30 finally finished but the cleaning bug was not out of me. So I moved on to the spice cupboard. That was a two hour job. You may be wondering why 2 hours? Well, I have many, many spices and other items I add to spice things up. Everything is finally back in alphabetical order. I know, I am neurotic about that kind of stuff. I also made a list of what is there too.

3:30 moving on to the other cupboards. I can't believe how much I am getting done today. Arranging and re-arranging.

5:45 I realized I haven't made dinner. Oh yeah, we have leftovers. Chicken Parmesan with fettuccine Alfredo. Awesome! Christian made the Alfredo sauce. One of his best. He is quite the chef.

So nice to have all of that taken care of. I can't wait to start on the food storage tomorrow as well as the freezer.

Day 196

Replay of Monday

When Nicole got out of surgery the doctor came in to tell me how things went. At that time he informed me that she was still on restricted visits. WHAT?! Are you kidding? But he assured me I could have 4-5 hours instead of 2. I could be okay with that.

When I went into Nicole room after our talk the nurse said I could only have 2 hours and I told her what the doctor said. She will find out, she said. When I left she still didn't know the answer but was going to call me later.

Instead of calling me she told Nicole and told her to call me and tell me only 2 hours. What a coward. Nicole was all upset, as she should have been. Well, the momma bear in me reared. I immediatly called to the unit to talk with the doctor which they informed me was gone. I left a message. The message....

If he wasn't going to hold to his word then they could get her ready to go home first thing in the morning. I was taking her home.

Tuesday morning

Nicole's nurse called and told me she was being released. Good. I am NOT going to play their little game. I know it sound hard BUT this i s no time to be restricting hours. She is doing exceptionally well, the doctor even said so. SO, here I am up early for wound care and all the other things life entails for our family.

DON"T MESS WITH THE MOMMA BEAR!!

Day 195

Another early morning. Today is the day Christian has his tilt table test to see if the diagnosis is for sure. No food or drink after midnight. Christian has never had to do that before. He and I went to IMC for this test. They asked us to be there at 8am. We arrived on time, waited for 5 minutes in the waiting room before going back to the testing area where we waited 2 hours before they even got things rolling.

The actual test only last 10 minutes, it was the setting up that took the longest. IV, ART line, medication. Once all was in place the test began. Unfortunately the test was negative. I couldn't believe it and neither could the doctor. We thought for sure this was it.

We are not back at square one but we are several steps backwards. Christian will be put back on the monitor and he will need to try to get himself to pass out so they can capture it again. They will be looking for signs for a possible pacemaker. That is not something to look forward to but if this all ends bring it on.

I know he is pretty sick of all the tests, poking and prodding. He is my healthy child. He is the one who doesn't really get sick, only had a broken finger and a torn tendon. Oh how I hope they find something soon.

It was nice to spend the entire day together but I wish it was for different reasons.

God, give us some answers, please.