Last year Nicole crocheted on flip-flops and had a booth at the Riverfest. She sold many pairs. We have several we are selling at our garage sale. All different sizes and colors. That would be a boon to her if we could sell them ALL and be able to put that money in her account for when she is able to be released from the hospital. If anyone from any other place would like a pair I can send them to you or if you are in Salt Lake area I can bring them today when I came back. Comment if you want a pair. They are 3 dollars or you can call me. I will be leaving this afternoon to head back to Utah.
I know that the Physical Therapists in the burn unit only want what best for Nicole but I need an education. I can understand the stretching and moving being a benefit to her but what I don't understand is how much they push. She has come back from PT two days in a row crying. Nicole FIRED her PT guy today 3 times. I guess he didn't get the hint. Not being there everyday to be her advocate has wrenched my heart. I am not afraid to speak my mind and get in someone face if I need to. I called to find out what was going on and to vent my frustrations to her nurse. I hardly could tell her what was on my mind before she chimed in and told me she was unhappy with Nicole's pain level today and was going to talk to her nurse about it. YEAH!. I didn't need to be the momma bear after all.
I am ready to leave here soon. I know it is a long drive but that is MY time with John. I actually love the drive. We have each other captive. We talk, laugh, read together, sing. I rub his back and he rubs mine. This is why I love working with John everyday. Total together time.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Day 60
First, Nicole walked abut 20 feet. I am grateful for this upswing. Nicole was even able to go outside for about an hour and sit in garden for sunshine therapy today. She didn't like the sun but she loved feeling the breeze. All of these little steps lead to larger steps. I am glad the last two days have been steps forward.
I am crazy busy in Kansas getting some things packed up for John to move to a smaller place in Wichita when our home sells. Our garage sale is a huge success. At least I think it is. I am happy we are able to get many of our things placed in other peoples homes. If you live in Wichita stop by for a peek at our stuff and take something home.
I am crazy busy in Kansas getting some things packed up for John to move to a smaller place in Wichita when our home sells. Our garage sale is a huge success. At least I think it is. I am happy we are able to get many of our things placed in other peoples homes. If you live in Wichita stop by for a peek at our stuff and take something home.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Day 59
Nicole has gained some strength back. She was able to stand today and walk a short distance. I know it is difficult for her but I am so proud of her. Mustering the strength she has to continue on. I gain strength from her.
Dr. Morris has decided to do Nicole's surgery on Friday. John and I will be back in Salt Lake that day so I am glad that will be the day. I know I can't be there for everything but surgery is such a big deal to me. I want to be there if at all possible.
Today, John and I were reading in this months Ensign, the article from Jeffery R. Holland. Sarah (my sister-in-law) called and asked if I had read it. I hadn't yet so on our way to the clinic I read to John. He talks about life's difficulties and that no one is immune to trials. I cannot do it justice but it gave strength to both John and I. Actually I felt much peace when I was finished reading it. If you want to know where to get it online let me know. I tried t make a link but it didn't work. Sorry.
I am extremely grateful to all the people who came to our home the last couple of days to get ready for our garage sale. It takes so much time. Thanks you to those also who are coming to man it for us. There is so much to do and so little time that I am here in Wichita. Between clinic and home stuff I have a list as long as my arm.
Dr. Morris has decided to do Nicole's surgery on Friday. John and I will be back in Salt Lake that day so I am glad that will be the day. I know I can't be there for everything but surgery is such a big deal to me. I want to be there if at all possible.
Today, John and I were reading in this months Ensign, the article from Jeffery R. Holland. Sarah (my sister-in-law) called and asked if I had read it. I hadn't yet so on our way to the clinic I read to John. He talks about life's difficulties and that no one is immune to trials. I cannot do it justice but it gave strength to both John and I. Actually I felt much peace when I was finished reading it. If you want to know where to get it online let me know. I tried t make a link but it didn't work. Sorry.
I am extremely grateful to all the people who came to our home the last couple of days to get ready for our garage sale. It takes so much time. Thanks you to those also who are coming to man it for us. There is so much to do and so little time that I am here in Wichita. Between clinic and home stuff I have a list as long as my arm.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Day 58
Nicole was in ventricular tachycardia last night. They have it under control right now but they are watching it very closely. They are pretty sure that it happened because her blood volume is so low. They are giving her blood almost everyday now. Nicole had an EKG last night and is having a Echo today. Hopefully the Echo will give us some insight as to what is going on more fully. She is also needing insulin.
It looks like Nicole will be back in surgery this week. Dr. Morris will do homographs (cadaver skin) on her legs and left arm while her back continues to heal. Hopefully in the next two weeks Nicole's back will be healed enough to gain donor skin to graph some of her legs.
MRSA is still plaguing Nicole. Her face is nearly healed and now it is on her trunk. The staff told us from the beginning that there would be many infections she would be dealing with. I know in my head what they are saying but the complexity of it all is not computing. Not that I don't
comprehend, just that sometimes it is overwhelming. I feel as though my head is swimming in a fish bowl at times. People are talking to me yet one more item of business will not fit into the filing cabinet in my brain. It is too full.
Picture this. A beautiful filing cabinet sitting in the corner of the room. A plant perched a top. It looks well kept and in order. You reach over to retrieve it contents. The drawer opens and chaos spews out. The files are not in alphabetical order. There are papers every which way, facing up and facing down. Forward, backward, folded in half. It is no wonder I am having trouble
retrieving things. I have to write everything down. I used to not be this way. I used to keep my filing cabinet in perfect order. I could reach in with my eyes closed and find EXACTLY what I needed. One day it will be that way again I hope.
The clinic in Kansas has kept me busy all day today. I thought I was going to be able to get more accomplished at home to get ready for our garage sale. Hopefully tonight I will be able to get things going.
It looks like Nicole will be back in surgery this week. Dr. Morris will do homographs (cadaver skin) on her legs and left arm while her back continues to heal. Hopefully in the next two weeks Nicole's back will be healed enough to gain donor skin to graph some of her legs.
MRSA is still plaguing Nicole. Her face is nearly healed and now it is on her trunk. The staff told us from the beginning that there would be many infections she would be dealing with. I know in my head what they are saying but the complexity of it all is not computing. Not that I don't
comprehend, just that sometimes it is overwhelming. I feel as though my head is swimming in a fish bowl at times. People are talking to me yet one more item of business will not fit into the filing cabinet in my brain. It is too full.
Picture this. A beautiful filing cabinet sitting in the corner of the room. A plant perched a top. It looks well kept and in order. You reach over to retrieve it contents. The drawer opens and chaos spews out. The files are not in alphabetical order. There are papers every which way, facing up and facing down. Forward, backward, folded in half. It is no wonder I am having trouble
retrieving things. I have to write everything down. I used to not be this way. I used to keep my filing cabinet in perfect order. I could reach in with my eyes closed and find EXACTLY what I needed. One day it will be that way again I hope.
The clinic in Kansas has kept me busy all day today. I thought I was going to be able to get more accomplished at home to get ready for our garage sale. Hopefully tonight I will be able to get things going.
Day 57
Last night I flew into Kansas City. John picked me up. Oh my gosh. It was so good to see him, even though I had just seen him last weekend. Maybe it is because I know I will see him for 2 weeks. I talked a mile a minute.He just laughed because he says I always talk too much. (Not in a bad way)
We drove to Ladd and Sarah's to see them before we continued on the Wichita. Thanks guys for staying up late to talk. After hugs all around the first thing Ladd asked me was, " SO...Do you think this experience has brought you closer together or pushed you guys apart?" I looked at John and before I could answer John said, "I definitely love Angi more. I am appreciative for all Angi does and has done for me and our children. It is hard but we are strengthened by this." I think we have grown closer together. We have always been close but through this experience the closeness is so tangible. John you are my ROCK. Even when I am far away during this time you are just a phone call away. Day or night you are there to listen to my woes.
My first full day in Wichita. Salt Lake withdrawal. It was nice to go to church in the Rolling Hills Ward. The familiar faces were most welcoming. Thanks to all who said hello. Great to talk to many people. Tim and Teresa, dinner was delicious and a comfort.
My parents are on Nicole watch this week. They are able to go to the hospital each day while I am gone. Not the same as me being there but she will have someone to watch over her and not feel so lonely. Even though she sleeps most of the time.
Nicole's blood pressure slowly plummets today. They put her back on the medication and it does rise but not where they want it to be and when they take her off it goes right down. Not knowing why this is happening is frustrating. I know it is frustrating for the doctors also.
Her situation warrants that she stay in in bed so she had PT in her room today and only one time. Even though it is good for her to be stretch and get her motor skills to function higher I know she probably liked only having PT one time. It wears her out so much. They say it is like running a marathon. No wonder she sleeps so much.
We drove to Ladd and Sarah's to see them before we continued on the Wichita. Thanks guys for staying up late to talk. After hugs all around the first thing Ladd asked me was, " SO...Do you think this experience has brought you closer together or pushed you guys apart?" I looked at John and before I could answer John said, "I definitely love Angi more. I am appreciative for all Angi does and has done for me and our children. It is hard but we are strengthened by this." I think we have grown closer together. We have always been close but through this experience the closeness is so tangible. John you are my ROCK. Even when I am far away during this time you are just a phone call away. Day or night you are there to listen to my woes.
My first full day in Wichita. Salt Lake withdrawal. It was nice to go to church in the Rolling Hills Ward. The familiar faces were most welcoming. Thanks to all who said hello. Great to talk to many people. Tim and Teresa, dinner was delicious and a comfort.
My parents are on Nicole watch this week. They are able to go to the hospital each day while I am gone. Not the same as me being there but she will have someone to watch over her and not feel so lonely. Even though she sleeps most of the time.
Nicole's blood pressure slowly plummets today. They put her back on the medication and it does rise but not where they want it to be and when they take her off it goes right down. Not knowing why this is happening is frustrating. I know it is frustrating for the doctors also.
Her situation warrants that she stay in in bed so she had PT in her room today and only one time. Even though it is good for her to be stretch and get her motor skills to function higher I know she probably liked only having PT one time. It wears her out so much. They say it is like running a marathon. No wonder she sleeps so much.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Day 56
I went to the Unit today at 5am. I needed to go there that early to be able to spend time with Nicole before I attended the sealing of our friends. Karen and Wade.
When I arrived this morning I was happy to know Nicole's urine output was high with the help of a drug and her blood pressure was better also because of a drug. She still has 9 bags hanging this morning.
She woke fairly easily, although, Nicole is hallucinating frequently. They are not sure why that is happening. I wish I knew. If is very frustrating. I bet is it frustrating to her also.
I left mid morning to attend the sealing. I was so happy to be there to share in that day with Karen and Wade. What a special day. Karen's daughters Lisa and Mandy were in the temple with her. So great.
I went back to the Unit before I left to fly to Kansas. I was so glad to be able to spend more time with her. She is a fighter. even though all that is happening today she is fighting through it all.
When I arrived this morning I was happy to know Nicole's urine output was high with the help of a drug and her blood pressure was better also because of a drug. She still has 9 bags hanging this morning.
She woke fairly easily, although, Nicole is hallucinating frequently. They are not sure why that is happening. I wish I knew. If is very frustrating. I bet is it frustrating to her also.
I left mid morning to attend the sealing. I was so happy to be there to share in that day with Karen and Wade. What a special day. Karen's daughters Lisa and Mandy were in the temple with her. So great.
I went back to the Unit before I left to fly to Kansas. I was so glad to be able to spend more time with her. She is a fighter. even though all that is happening today she is fighting through it all.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Day 55
It has been such a crazy day today. When I came to the unit Nicole didn't even know me. It freaked me out. She is so disoriented today. Her blood pressure was only 79/20 when I got here. I saw they had her on Albumin again. 2 bottles later and her blood pressure came up some but still lethargic and disoriented. I hate days like this.
During rounds today Dr. Saffel is puzzled why Nicole's blood pressure continues to be low and why she is disoriented and lethargic. I hope he is good at figuring out puzzles.
Pseudomonas is knocking on our door again. Hopefully it won't take too many tries to find the right antibiotic to get rid of it. Nicole now has yeast in her blood. Not the most beneficial thing to be dealing with. As I am looking at Nicole's stats, I see her IV pole. There are 9 bags hanging right now. The same amount as was hanging the first day when we came on the unit. 2 days ago it was only 2 bags.
Dr. Morris put in Nicole's central line today. It is now in her neck. They had to reposition it twice to make sure it was in the right place so it can stay in longer.
When talking to John today he could hear the anxiety in my voice. He was so supportive. He knew my fear instantly. I am leaving to go to Wichita tomorrow. It pains me to have to leave her in this position. I know she is getting great care but it is nothing like a mothers. I know she is being monitored all the time at the nurses station but I feel so much better when I am there and can see, all the time, what is going on. I am glad my parents will be coming to the unit each day to check on her. And of course I can call, day or night, to hear for myself how things are going.
This evening, Diane and Nicole, (cousins) came by to see Nicole. The two Nicole's have a special bond. John's family reunion will be in 2 weeks. At this reunion both Nicole's have their pictures taken together. That won't happen this year but hopefully a picture will be taken before too long. I love these two women. I have seen Nicole grow up. She has always held a special place in my heart. We visited for quite awhile, so good to catch up. I am grateful for the words they left with me. Thank you for the wonderful fresh garden veggies and the delicious poppy seed bread. I can't wait to read the book you gave to Nicole tomorrow.
During rounds today Dr. Saffel is puzzled why Nicole's blood pressure continues to be low and why she is disoriented and lethargic. I hope he is good at figuring out puzzles.
Pseudomonas is knocking on our door again. Hopefully it won't take too many tries to find the right antibiotic to get rid of it. Nicole now has yeast in her blood. Not the most beneficial thing to be dealing with. As I am looking at Nicole's stats, I see her IV pole. There are 9 bags hanging right now. The same amount as was hanging the first day when we came on the unit. 2 days ago it was only 2 bags.
Dr. Morris put in Nicole's central line today. It is now in her neck. They had to reposition it twice to make sure it was in the right place so it can stay in longer.
When talking to John today he could hear the anxiety in my voice. He was so supportive. He knew my fear instantly. I am leaving to go to Wichita tomorrow. It pains me to have to leave her in this position. I know she is getting great care but it is nothing like a mothers. I know she is being monitored all the time at the nurses station but I feel so much better when I am there and can see, all the time, what is going on. I am glad my parents will be coming to the unit each day to check on her. And of course I can call, day or night, to hear for myself how things are going.
This evening, Diane and Nicole, (cousins) came by to see Nicole. The two Nicole's have a special bond. John's family reunion will be in 2 weeks. At this reunion both Nicole's have their pictures taken together. That won't happen this year but hopefully a picture will be taken before too long. I love these two women. I have seen Nicole grow up. She has always held a special place in my heart. We visited for quite awhile, so good to catch up. I am grateful for the words they left with me. Thank you for the wonderful fresh garden veggies and the delicious poppy seed bread. I can't wait to read the book you gave to Nicole tomorrow.
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